23 Life Insurance Quotes – Witty and Meaningful

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Throughout our website Soccerwidow we talk about statistics, especially in connection with sports results, odds calculation, and betting, and we can assure you that nothing within this field carries a full one hundred percent probability.

But when it comes to the subject of life, absolute certainty does exist. The undesirable question is when, and not if…

The following selection of life insurance quotes is not a commercial collection. It is simply a broad perspective on the topic of life insurance.

Enjoy and don’t forget to share if you like this collection!

While nothing
is more uncertain
than a single life,
nothing is more certain
than the average duration
of a thousand lives.
Elizur Wright

(1804 – 1885, American mathematician,

“father of life insurance” for his pioneering work on actuarial tables)

Statistics have shown
that mortality increases perceptibly
in the military
during wartime.
Alphonse Allais

               (1854 – 1905, French writer and humourist)

Fun is like life insurance;
the older you get,
the more it costs.
Frank McKinney Hubbard,
better known by his pen name “Kin” Hubbard

(1868 – 1930, American cartoonist, humorist, and journalist)

I detest life-insurance agents:
they always argue
that I shall someday die,
which is not so.
Stephen Butler Leacock

(1869 – 1944, English-born Canadian teacher,

political scientist, writer, and humorist)

Asking Europe to disarm
is like asking a man in Chicago
to give up his life insurance.
Will Rogers

(1879 – 1935, American entertainer)

The determination of
life insurance salesmen to succeed
has made life
pretty soft for widows.
William A. Feather

(1889 – 1981, American publisher and author)

Perhaps the best cure
for the fear of death
is to reflect
that life
has a beginning
as well as an end.
William Hazlitt

(1778 – 1830, English writer)

You don’t need
to pray to God any more
when there are storms in the sky,
but you do have to be insured.
Bertolt Brecht

(1898 – 1956, German poet, playwright, and Marxist)

Life is
a sexually transmitted disease
and the mortality rate is
one hundred percent.
Ronald David Laing

(1927 – 1989, Scottish psychiatrist)

It’s very easy
for trusted companies
to mislead naive customers,
and life insurance companies are trusted.
Daniel Kahneman

(*1934, Israeli-American psychologist
and winner of the 2002 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Science)

For almost seventy years
the life insurance industry
has been a smug sacred cow
feeding the public
a steady line of sacred bull.
Ralph Nader

(*1934, American political activist,
as well as an author, lecturer, and attorney)

You can get up
to a million dollars or more
in life insurance
in case you die.
But can only get
about seven or eight bucks
an hour to live.
Stanley Victor Paskavich

(*1958, Gulf War Vet who suffers from PTSD
and bipolar disorder, writer of poetry and quotes )

Life insurance
became popular only
when insurance companies
stopped emphasizing
it as a good investment
and sold it instead
as a symbolic commitment
by fathers
to the future well-being of their families.
James Michael Surowiecki

(*1967, American journalist)

I’m a big crier in general.
The right life insurance commercial
will take me out for a couple of days.
Isaac “Ike” Barinholtz

(*1977, American actor, comedian, voice actor and writer)

A full-time student
with no siblings or parents
might be affected financially
by his premature death.
Harry Potter doesn’t have
a need for life insurance.
David Woods

The chief beneficiary
of life insurance policies
for young, single people
is the life insurance agent.
Wes Smith

You can’t put
a value on a human life,
but my wife’s life insurance company
made a pretty fair offer.
Unknown Author

Whatever excuses you may have
for not buying life insurance now
will only sound ridiculous
to your widow.
Unknown Author

The only thing a man can buy
on the instalment plan,
on which his widow
won’t have to finish the payments
after he dies,
is life insurance.
Unknown Author

You don’t buy life insurance
because you are going to die,
but because those you love
are going to live.
Unknown Author

Life Insurance offers a man
the only way
where he can make his will
before he makes his money.
Unknown Author

Would you agree
that the only person
who can take care
of the older person
you will someday be –
is the younger person
you are now?
Unknown Author